A 'Bravo' Memory and then some

About this time last Year we were preparing for the upcoming "Bravo" performance.  Fr. Jerry and I had to come up with a comedy act.  Well there are a group of bible jokes that have been around forever.  Some of these were in our act last year and some did NOT make the cut.  Memorize them and impress your friends with your knowledge of the Bible:

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Honda ... because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. 2 Cor 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?
A. They were really put out.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep.


Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?
A. The thought had never entered his head before.

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
A. When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Peace